Lack of sexual desire in men: causes, myths, and solutions.

Lack of sexual desire in men is more common than often assumed, but it is rarely openly discussed. Shame, social pressure, and stereotypes that associate masculinity with constant sexual desire make many men suffer in silence. As psychologists specialized in sexual therapy, at our center we address this issue with professionalism, empathy, and a close approach, helping men understand the causes and find effective solutions.

Is a Lack of Sexual Desire in Men Normal?

One of the biggest myths about male sexuality is that men are always “ready” or eager for sexual activity. This is not true: men, like women, can experience a decrease in sexual desire at different points in life, and this does not make them any less masculine.

It is important to distinguish between low desire (reduced but present interest), absent desire (complete lack of sexual interest), and sexual aversion (active rejection of sex, often accompanied by distress). While low desire can be a temporary stage influenced by stress or life changes, absent desire or aversion tends to be more persistent and may require professional attention. In many cases, lack of desire is temporary, but if it lasts several months or causes distress, it may indicate an underlying problem.

Most common causes of lack of sexual desire in men

Lack of sexual desire in men can have multiple origins. At our psychological center in Valencia, we have found the five most frequent causes:

• Stress and anxiety: Work, financial, or personal worries can significantly reduce sexual interest.
• Hormonal problems: Low testosterone levels, common with age or due to medical conditions, affect desire.
• Sexual dysfunctions: Difficulties like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation can cause insecurity and decrease interest.
• Psychological factors: Depression, low self-esteem, or past traumas can negatively influence libido.
• Relationship problems: Conflicts, a lack of emotional connection, or routine in the relationship often impact sexual desire.

How does lack of sexual desire affect the couple’s relationship?

Lack of sexual desire in men affects not only the individual but also the couple’s dynamics.
Common effects include:

Impact on mutual self-esteem: Both partners may begin to doubt their attractiveness or value, creating a vicious cycle of insecurities.

Emotional discomfort and guilt: The man may feel inadequate or guilty for not meeting his own or his partner’s expectations.

Emotional distance and communication problems: Lack of sexual intimacy can create emotional coldness and misunderstandings, making it difficult to discuss the problem openly.

Partner reactions: The other person may feel insecure, rejected, or frustrated, sometimes pressuring the man and worsening the situation.

When to Seek Sex Therapy

Professional help is recommended when lack of sexual desire causes significant distress, persists for more than three months, or negatively affects the relationship. It is also useful if there are symptoms of anxiety, depression, or physical problems (like sexual dysfunctions) that may be related. Sexual therapy is beneficial whether the problem is recent or longstanding and can be approached individually or as a couple, depending on the needs.

🌿 Has your sex life been affected? Talk to a professional who can support you respectfully and without judgment.

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Benefits of Seeking Male Sex Therapy

Sex therapy offers tools to overcome a lack of desire and improve your quality of life. These are five key benefits:

• Identifying causes: It helps uncover whether the problem is physical, psychological, or relational, allowing for specific treatment.
• Improved communication: It makes it easier to talk openly about needs and desires, strengthening the connection with your partner.
• Reduced anxiety: It provides strategies to manage the stress or pressure associated with sexual performance.
• Strengthened self-esteem: It helps overcome insecurities and build a positive self-image.
• Rediscovery of pleasure: It allows you to reconnect with desire and enjoy a full and satisfying sex life.

Frequently Asked Questions About a Lack of Sexual Desire in Men

What happens when a man has no sexual desire?

A lack of desire can cause personal frustration, guilt, and tension in the relationship. It is a treatable problem with professional support. Identifying the cause is key to finding solutions.

How does a lack of sexual desire manifest with my partner?

It usually appears as avoiding sexual encounters, showing little interest in intimacy, or feeling indifferent to sexual stimuli. Open communication can help understand it.

Can pregnancy or fatherhood influence sexual desire?

Yes, stress, hormonal changes, or new responsibilities can temporarily reduce desire. Therapy can help you adapt to this stage.

Is sex therapy also for men?

Absolutely. Sexual therapy is designed for both men and women. It is a safe space to address any sexual concerns professionally.

Conclusion

Lack of sexual desire in men is more common than believed, but it is surrounded by myths that make it difficult to talk about. From stress to hormonal or relationship problems, causes vary, and effects can create emotional distress and relationship tension. Seeking sexual therapy not only helps identify and treat the problem but also strengthens self- esteem, improves communication, and allows for a fulfilling sex life. If this issue concerns you, taking the step toward professional help is a valuable decision for your well-being and that of your partner.

A healthy sexuality is connection, trust, and mutual care.